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handler: hannah
age: 24
occupation: editorial assistant
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lyrics: Cause it's my problem If I wanna pack up and run away It's my business if I feel the need to Smoke and drink and sway It's my problem, it's my problem If I feel the need to hide And it's my problem if I have no friends And feel I want to die
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claudia lincoln

admin witch

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May 29 2017, 09:54 PM
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<div class="remedyheadwords"> The sweetest devotion Hit me like an explosion</div>
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Claudia was terrified. It wasn’t something she liked to admit, but she was pretty easily spooked by things (alright, not your traditional things, her netflix account didn’t count). Emotions, though, and heartache, and being cared about, and caring for others – that was all terrifying. It had been a few months since she had kicked Tate out of her place and then quit her job and subsequently regretted every second. Even after a lapse where after the ball she had made an attempt to see him (a stroke of luck meant he hadn’t been in that night, and didn’t have to see her try to explain herself after her third or fourth drink), she still didn’t think this was going to go well. In fact, permanently pessimistic as she was, she knew he would be fair to her, but she didn’t expect him to want her back. She could be okay with that, she supposed, she’d lost her chance but maybe she’d never deserved it. She certainly couldn’t have gone much longer without telling him all the extra things she’d been doing, and now she didn’t have to. It would have ended anyway, she told herself, when he knew all of that he wouldn’t have wanted her, and she wouldn’t have blamed him. Even despite all of that, she was still going to his door that evening. <p>
After talking to Blake she’d known she needed to do something, and if Tate had taught her anything, it was that she hurt people far too easily, and she had to rectify that. She thought this might be her way of making up for some of the bad she had done, unforgivable as it was, she wanted him to know she was sorry, and she had been an idiot. She knew she had a fear of werewolves for a good reason, but she didn’t have a fear of Tate in that way, she knew him well enough to be sure he would never do anything bad to her, werewolf or not. She suspected she had been looking for a reason to run away, even if she was sure he could never be horrible, he still always had the power to hurt her, and it made sense that it would come along eventually. She didn’t plan to tell him this, at least not while she was sure there was no point, while she was sure he couldn’t possibly want someone who had been so disgusted by a part of him even for a fleeting second. <p>
She stood outside his door for perhaps longer than was necessary, chewing her lip, trying to talk herself into knocking. Everything she had thought to say had gone out of her head, and she just looked lost, and she felt very alone, and very afraid, and very much like this was a bad idea. Finally, she raised a hand and knocked twice, stepping back, suddenly a little too panicked by the sound, and by the fact she had just alerted him to her presence. All of a sudden she was turning away, wondering if she could escape down the corridor before he saw her, sure that this was something for another time, maybe, or never, never was good too.

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Apr 11 2017, 11:54 PM
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<div class="remedyheadwords"> It's slipping through your fingers like sand</div>
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Claudia didn’t know why she thought going to the ball was a good idea. She’d felt so cut off ever since she walked out on Tate, and quit her job, and probably made every other mistake in the book she was sure. She’d just thought it would be nice to go somewhere with lots of people and nice things to look at, and get to dress up and look pretty, and maybe even feel pretty for a second, instead of just feeling alone. The second she walked in she knew it was a mistake. She didn’t know anyone, she realised, she hadn’t gone with anyone – she hadn’t even made an effort to ask anyone she knew if they were going, although perhaps that was because most of them worked for Daniel and she actively hated them all – so the moment she stepped into the room, everyone milling around talking, she realised she was just by herself. It wasn’t as romantic as it might have seemed. She nearly walked out of the room immediately, thinking she would be better off going home and watching netflix under a blanket. Neither option would make her feel any better, but she hadn’t been feeling okay for weeks now, and she thought it might be pathetic to stand around and look desperate for company at a ball where she knew no one.<p>
She had stepped into the room a little to get out of the way of some more people arriving behind her, but already she was looking for an excuse to exit. It was pretty, she would admit that, and she knew she would enjoy looking around for a moment – she had always liked the Ritz, it was a little bit fancier than what she tended to frequent these days, but it had worked for her in the past. Grudgingly, she decided to do a lap, just in case she saw someone- no one in particular, of course – who might be in the crowd by some trick of fate had discarded their dislike of fancy suits and showed up there. It was obvious pretty quickly that this was not the case. <p>
She did, however, instead see a different familiar face, and a familiar face lacking his slightly intimidating but impressive girlfriend nonetheless, and Claudia found herself wandering towards him instead. <b>”Hello,”</b> She greeted politely, hoping he didn’t mind her intrusion – admittedly a far cry from their first meeting, not that she was much happier, in fact she might have been getting progressively more miserable every time she ran into Blake. <b>”I’m sorry I keep using you for company at these things, I hope you don’t mind,”</b> She bit her lip a little and twisted her hands together almost anxiously, thinking that even Blake she didn’t want to keep too long, he certainly had better people to talk to.

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Jan 13 2017, 12:07 AM
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<div class="remedyheadwords"> It's slipping through your fingers like sand</div>
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Claudia <i>hated</i> that office. She wanted nothing to do with it, she didn't want to be anywhere near it, but she knew Daniel wasn't there, and she wanted to do <i>something</i>. She just thought that maybe she could play Daniel at his own game and get out of this before anything really bad happened. She was already his errand girl, especially since he'd found out she was even better at being vicious than she was magic, he'd started sending her on tasks with the expectation she could intimidate her way into getting what he wanted. She was hating it for obvious reasons. She just wanted to see what she could find, maybe just anything to bluff her way out of it all. This was her one chance, he was so rarely away from it. A glint of ice in her eye she realised how much she wanted to hurt him, but that would have to be thought about later, being angry would do nothing for her. <p>
Well aware that she would get considered suspicious if she hung around too long she put on that old face of hers. The haughty expression, the shoulders back and head held high, the walk that said she knew what she was doing. It lacked poise a little, but it would get the job done - or at least convince the Shard security she was meant to be there. Quickly, she opened the office door and slipped inside, relief flooding through her as she looked around the dimly lit office. She headed straight for his desk, starting to rifle through the innocuous papers sitting around. Nothing much was interesting, she'd admit, but she was eyeing his computer dubiously, wondering what secrets sat there. <p>
It was then the door open, and she froze, not fast enough to hide as someone entered. It took a beat, a long moment before she realised it wasn't Daniel, and she released the breath she had been holding. <b>"I was just looking for something,"</b> she said quickly, trying to not look suspicious despite her hasty excuse - she gritted her teeth slightly, she was a better liar than that, she just had to hope the guy wasn't one of Daniel's particularly loyal lackeys.

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Jan 12 2017, 11:31 PM
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<div class="remedyheadwords"> It's slipping through your fingers like sand</div>
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Claudia didn't remotely appreciate the fact she was being forced to spend any time with Valerie, but here she was, arms folded, she stared at the ground, and pressed her lips together. Automatically she wanted nothing to do with this, she already felt as though she had to keep her whereabouts secret, and she only had one person around to keep it a secret from, and it wasn't like he knew where she was most of the time anyway. Still, every time she did something for Daniel guilt seeped through her because she knew to a large degree she was going against all she was trying to be, but worse she was being the very person she probably was in her heart. Claudia had no intention of taking the lead, if she could be as removed as possible she would be happy. She saw no reason to act enthusiastic about the whole thing, being told to do something only made her want to do it less at the best of times – but to be <i>forced</i> into doing something, well, Daniel was only sitting smugly in his office with his eyesight intact because she knew it was too dangerous to hurt him. Worse still, she had to keep her cool around Valerie, who frankly, was either the biggest idiot in the world or playing a very dangerous game, and personally, Claudia thought she could do better. <p>
<b>”So who's this guy we're going to see?”</b> She asked, lifting her head finally and stuck her nose in the air like she couldn't care less. She had already given up trying to make a good impression on anyone in Daniel's Coven, not when she knew well enough that they were people she should stay away from. Even then she admired Valerie – her smoothness, her poise, it was everything Claudia had never quite achieved. As always in life, she had missed the mark dramatically. As it stood, the best plan was to just offer her magic and keep her temper to herself – not that it was easy when at every turn she was being faced with decisions she didn't want to make, and every time she fell to the darkness she knew she was ruining what might actually be something good. That was typical, though, Claudia already knew the world wasn't doing her any favours. <b>”And look, I know you don't want me here or whatever, but i'm here to babysit you as much as you are me, so don't bother pretending you're any better,”</b> she added, narrowing her eyes at the other woman before she could pull the whole superiority thing, Claudia didn't play that game.

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Claudia did not trust good things easily, certainly no kindness came from the world that she knew, and no matter how many idealistic people she met it didn't change what she had learned the hard way. The world was cruel, it was difficult, and for everything there was a price to pay. <p>
Every sin she had ever committed would come back to haunt her, she knew that, she had never considered herself redeemable or deserving of hope, and this was why life was an eternal punishment. One after the other after the other, as she did worse things to survive, she suffered more. An eternal damning pattern that no amount of willpower had allowed her to escape from as of yet. No matter her resolutions, Claudia knew that the worst had yet to come. There were very few days that didn't feel like a soft sort of hell, but it was clear, this was only life's way of teasing her, giving her a taste of what would sooner rather than later overcome her. <p>
She was not to know that each of her biggest wrongdoings, the worst things that haunted her daily, they came back to her in the form of a letter signed in thick ink, and held the gleam of a man who had won before the game had even been played. <p>
Claudia did not know the man particularly well, they had met perhaps twice before, both working very hard to make their place among the who's who of London socialites and politics. Still, she knew who he was, she knew he had found the success he always wanted, where Claudia had given up that life. Now, he wanted to see her, to drag her back into the depths of all that had worn her heart down to a vulnerable rawness. Worse, she had no choice. <p>
Claudia stepped into his office, only pride fueling her refusal to look worried or intimidated. It was key that she pretended this was all beneath her, she was not to be the charming girl he had never really known, but she still held some of the regal dignity she had learned to emulate when she first came to London. Of course, no amount of pride would hide that she had been summoned by the worst of London's villains, and he could never be intimidated by her. This was the difference, Claudia could not pretend she held power, not anymore. <p>
He smiled at her, all white teeth and evil, a glint in his eye that couldn't be mistaken for anything but the arrogance of a man who was winning. Claudia had never hated someone quite so immediately. <p>
He gestured for her to sit, and she obliged rather unwillingly, examining him critically before she did anything. She could see perhaps two outcomes of this meeting, and neither were going to relieve her fears. <p>
The first, was that he wanted something she could oblige, and she would do so in order to put him out of her life for good. The second, was that he wanted something she could not oblige, and then, she would only be in danger. <p>
Claudia had not stepped into this office unaware she was walking into the clutches of a man who would destroy her if she defied him. Perhaps the joke was on him, she was already more than destroyed. <p>
<b>"Would you like a drink?"</b> Daniel Heart asked sweetly, giving her what he no doubt thought was a pleasant smile, but instead only had her staring at him in pure derision. He raised a hand in surrender, and laughed, as though they had shared some joke. <b>"No drink then, we can get down to business."</b><p>
Claudia nodded once, unwilling to say anything, unwilling to commit herself to the conversation fully. <p>
<b>"Well,"</b> he said, clasping his hands together, clearly assessing her for a brief moment. <b>"I heard you've finally gotten rather good at magic, congratulations, I don't doubt it took a lot of hard work?"</b> <p>
Claudia nodded once more, the reminder of her magic - the energy, the power she could finally wield - it strengthened her. Nothing could harm her, it was power in a truer form than Daniel could ever achieve. <p>
<b>"Excellent, well, I have a proposal for you, my pack is sadly rather unprotected, you know, we've gone through a fair bit of change recently,"</b> he smiled once more, like another shared joke, <b>"And we're lacking witches who will.... assist us, shall we say."</b> <p>
<b>"I'm not a witch for hire,"</b> Claudia told him, her tone deadpan, but suspicion rising. There were better witches out there than her, a barely qualified illusionist. <p>
<b>"Ah, no, no, I'm not looking to hire - more... recruit, shall we say, and, sadly, i'm not really asking, I'm afraid you're going to do this for me whether you like it or not."</b> He sighed like this was truly unfortunate for him, and not Claudia, as she was stripped of her willpower and freedom.<p>
<b>"You can't force me, I don't want to work for you,"</b> she told him flatly, immediately standing up, unsure she wanted to stay long enough for him to force her. Already turning away, bag on her shoulder, she stopped, a strange sound hitting her ears.<p>
Behind her, Daniel Heart chuckled. <p>
<b>"It's strange, I wonder how many of the reasons I have in front of me it'll take for you to realize you can't walk away?"</b> he mused, apparently rather cheerful about this. With a sick feeling in the back of her throat, she realised he was enjoying this. A part of her almost wished his cheer had only been intimidation. <p>
Claudia paused, but did not sit down, the cracks in her expression were starting to show, fear seeping out of her eyes as she looked down at his desk, a file in front of him that she could not read from this distance. <p>
<b>"We'll start with London, shall well? How many people do you know who would love to hear how you sold yourself to the rich? All of those presents, and dresses, sold jewelry, it didn't come free did it?"</b><p>
Claudia's gaze trained to the floor, not entirely in shame, but almost in bitter amusement - if he thought he was just going to tell people in her life now her secrets he was truly going to struggle.<p>
<b>"There's no one, turns out I don't make friends easily,"</b> she told him, her bitter smile trained on him, as she realized she had won this round. <b>"You can't threaten how I live, Daniel, I don't have anything. to lose."</b> <p>
<b>"Are you sure?"</b> he returned, shuffling to another page in the file. <b>"Oh here's a good one, did you know your parents were looking for you for a while? Yes, it turns out they wanted their estranged daughter, and the, ooh, five thousand dollars she stole, back. Wouldn't it be nice to give them a call...?"</b><p>
<b>"No."</b> Her heart suddenly constricted in fear and uncertainty - what if he could do that? She did not want them to know where she was, to disrupt a life that was not content but at least was without her past. <b>"I mean, they wouldn't care by now, it's been years,"</b> she added, in the hopes it would deter him, but unsure of its truth. <p>
<b>"Oh, well, let's find out shall we?"</b> he teased, reaching slowly for the phone, forcing Claudia to lurch forwards and press her hand over the phone in the hopes it would stop him. <p>
<b>"I won't do this, I won't do what you want,"</b> she told him, looking him in the eye with as much conviction as she could muster in a moment of pure fear. <p>
<b>"I don't know,"</b> Daniel returned with a sigh, <b>"I just think that a murderer shouldn't be quite so uppity about who is willing to forgive her for it."</b> He said this lightly, sighing as though she was being rather ungrateful,fully aware of the effect it would have on her. <p>
<b>"There's still no one to tell,"</b> she whispered, straightening herself slowly, sure she understood the threat there. This time Daniel stood up, slowly walking around her, prowling almost. <p>
<b>"So long ago, and your brother's death still haunts you? Follows you around?"</b> he said, his voice low and soft. <b>"I was very interested, you see, I gathered almost every trace of it, every article describing how a little boy fell to the death under the watch of his potentially dangerous sister, every police report that listed you as a suspect before it did a witness, every psychiatrist's report that considered you as emotionally unstable in your grief. It was truly a tragic time."</b>
He paused then, Claudia stood tensely still, waiting for for the final blow, for the moment she truly lost. <p>
<b>"Even so,"</b> he continued, <b>"I can ensure everyone who gets close to you, your future lovers, friends, family, every one of them, is well aware of just what you're running from. If that's what you want, feel free to leave."</b> Daniel shrugged, and returned to his seat, apparently disinterested in what Claudia did now. <p>
After a long pause Claudia stepped forward and returned to her seat. <p>
<b>"Fine,"</b> she said finally, <b>"Tell me what you want."</b>




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