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handler: leah
age: 36
occupation: accountant
affiliation: gerard's pack
application: n/a
plotter link: n/a
gif link: http://i.imgur.com/7jBn1fV.gif
lyrics: She's thunderstorms
Lying on her front
Up against the wall
She's thunderstorms
In an unusual place
When you're feeling far away
She does what the night does to the day
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Joined: 23-March 17
Status: (Offline)
Last Seen: Aug 9 2017, 03:18 PM
Local Time: Oct 22 2017, 09:33 AM
24 posts (0.1 per day)
( 0.08% of total forum posts )
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audrey kim

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Aug 9 2017, 03:18 PM
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<div class="letgotitle">Please could you be tender,
And I will sit close to you</div>

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/XcVfhyz.gif"> <div class="letgotag">HUSBAND // <a href="http://nitrolicious.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/KiehlsMaggieQEarthDaysm-700x1092.jpg" style="color: #fff">OUTFIT</a> // 393 WORDS</div>

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Audrey was used to working late - handling the collective finances of one of London’s finest garage chains was far more challenging than it looked - and was frequently used to being the last one to leave her workplace. The main garage area was usually nearly vacant by evening, and it often fell upon her to shut the place down after business hours, and make sure all the equipment was in working condition. Tonight had been no different. Maia was with her sitter, so Audrey wasn’t too worried about getting home urgently, and, since it was now far beyond the garage’s business hours, she’d expected the place to be already empty save for Audrey herself. She checked the repair area first, cleaning up whatever was required, and then headed back to her office to collect her belongings after having turned off the main lights. But on her way along the hallway she stopped squarely in her tracks, surprised to see that she wasn’t the only one who’d stayed back, that the lights in Gerard’s office were still on. <p>
She hadn’t exactly expected Gerard to be around so late, but it was his garage after all. He could very well stay for as long as he liked, Audrey wasn’t going to be affected by it. At least that’s what she told herself. Nevertheless, against all her better instincts, she couldn’t help but walk up to his door anyway - which was fortunately open - and knocked lightly on the wood to get his attention. “I didn’t know you were working late,” she greeted, teetering in the doorway and debating whether she should actually go inside and sit down, or run in the opposite direction before she did something stupid. She was a little too aware of the fact that they were both alone, just the two of them, with nobody else in the vicinity of the garage to interrupt (or be her impulse control), and that this could end up with her biting off more than she could chew. “I’m sorry if I disturbed you,” she added, suddenly a little sheepish at the direction her thoughts were going in, feeling the tiniest hint of a blush coloring her cheeks, “I was just...locking up when I saw your light on. So I..thought of checking in.”<p>



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<div style="width: 370px; text-align: right; font-family: arial; font-size: 7px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 1px;"><a href="http://shine.b1.jcink.com/index.php?showuser=3079">♥</a></div></center>[/dohtml]

Apr 13 2017, 06:08 PM
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<div class="letgotop">
<div class="letgotitle">you’d make it nighttime all today</div>

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/XcVfhyz.gif"> <div class="letgotag">HUSBAND // <a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/9f/70/0c/9f700c40dbd45605e63bf86dd18bc8d0.jpg" style="color: #fff">OUTFIT</a> // 450 WORDS</div>

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As one of the oldest members of the pack, Audrey was quite naturally expected to man their booth at the con. She was mostly in charge of the more logistical stuff; making sure the booth had been set up properly, that they had most of their resources and pack-related pamphlets and guidelines in place, that all the other pack members who’d volunteered were present and were cooperating with one another, and so on and so forth. She’d had to bring Maia along too, her babysitter having fallen ill at the very last minute, but that wasn’t much of an issue really. Maia gelled surprisingly well with her packmates; and sure enough, she was soon engrossed in a conversation with Tate involving secret handshakes which was frankly a little beyond Audrey but she smiled adoringly at them anyway. Everything was going pretty well so far; people were coming up to them with questions, insights and some young werewolves were even expressing an interest in joining in. The pack was really coming together to present an united front and after a long time, Audrey almost felt a little optimistic about the pack’s future. <p>
And yet, she was oddly aware of Gerard’s constant presence by her side. He appeared to be the requisite leader - calm, steadfast, rational, kind. He was charming, sensitive, and he spoke about the pack in uplifting terms, his rhetoric as inspiring as attractive as it used to be when they were both much younger. Audrey couldn’t stop sneaking glances at him, despite being well aware that she shouldn’t. She hated that he still had this effect on her; hated how she was so ridiculously drawn in by Gerard every time he was in his element. She swallowed hard, trying to focus on the task at hand, and became briefly engrossed in arranging their information booklets into neat stacks. Talon and Sasha had wandered off for a break, while Maia was off in the back playing with Cleo (Gerard had brought her along too). She was alone with him now, the silence between them growing more awkward by the minute. Audrey kept her eyes lowered on the booklets, unstacking and then stacking them for what seemed to be the millionth time. She cleared her throat, trying to think of something to say but unable to come up with anything appropriate enough. “We’re doing well, I think,” she finally stuttered, desperate to cut past the tension between them, “We might get some new members after today.” She still couldn’t meet his gaze entirely, her heart thumping a little too loud in her chest. “You, uh...” she continued, trailing off inbetween, “You’re good at this. You’re good at convincing people.”<p>


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<div style="width: 370px; text-align: right; font-family: arial; font-size: 7px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 1px;"><a href="http://shine.b1.jcink.com/index.php?showuser=3079">♥</a></div></center>[/dohtml]

Mar 28 2017, 08:47 PM
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<div class="letgotop">
<div class="letgotitle">Get you wild, make you leave</div>

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/XcVfhyz.gif"> <div class="letgotag">HUSBAND // <a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b0/e1/29/b0e1291b9da532d0dadf3c4a277039d2.jpg" style="color: #fff">OUTFIT</a> // 554 WORDS</div>

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Audrey had learnt to steel her heart against Gerard over the years. It hadn’t been a simple process (quite the opposite, really), but she’d succeeded in burying all the residual feelings she might’ve retained so deep within that she’d willed herself to forget they existed in the first place. All those years ago, they had broken things off for the sake of the pack’s welfare. The pack always came first - to not just Gerard, but her too - and they couldn’t have risked letting their relationship complicate its dynamic. And hence, their affair had reached its natural conclusion. The resentment remained, of course, but Audrey had let it slowly die away; taking her heart along with it. Instead, she had focused on doing her best for the pack, trying to keep it together despite it being on the verge of falling apart - despite it already having fallen apart with Johnny’s exit. And yet, she always felt like she was floundering, like she wasn’t doing enough, despite having tried everything. But what she was most unsure of, was whether or not Gerard actually cared. He was always so caught up in worrying about the greater good, so caught up in being morally upright and “doing the right thing” that she sometimes feared he forgot about the individual needs of his pack members. <p>
Things were changing in the supernatural landscape of London, and Gerard was still frustratingly blind to it. She tried so hard to keep her feelings for Gerard neutral, to not let him affect her like he used to, to avoid engaging with him in any capacity beyond the professional, but the time had arrived for her to confront him. Daniel Heart was steadily gaining power, and word on the street was that he was assembling a coven of dark magic witches. But that wasn’t even their only problem - Johnny was still refusing to cooperate, and the members of their own pack were starting to grow disgruntled and impatient. She needed to spur him into action, to knock some actual sense into him, and she knew she was the only one who could since no one else would volunteer. <p>
She walked into the garages that morning with renewed determination, ready to unleash her wrath on Gerard while simultaneously nervous to face him. It had been a while since she’d spoken so candidly with him. Usually, she just preferred to keep her distance, interacting with him only when it was absolutely necessary. But now, she was about to be in close quarters with him again, about to have a conversation where neither of them could afford to remain ignorant to reality, her heart was beating ridiculously fast. She had to shut her eyes and swallow hard before she finally knocked on Gerard’s office door, sending up a silent prayer to the Gods to give her the strength to get through this unscathed. Once she heard him quietly ask her to come in, she entered, finding him hunched over some papers at his desk. He looked up once she approached and pulled up a chair opposite his. “Gerard,” she greeted stiffly, “We need to talk. And I don’t care if you’re busy at the moment.” She stared directly into his eyes, making it clear that she meant business. <p>

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</div>

<div style="width: 370px; text-align: right; font-family: arial; font-size: 7px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 1px;"><a href="http://shine.b1.jcink.com/index.php?showuser=3079">♥</a></div></center>[/dohtml]

Mar 24 2017, 12:49 PM
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<h4>about audrey:</h4>
<ul>
<li>loyal</li>
<li>compassionate</li>
<li>intelligent</li>
<li>pragmatic</li>
<li>mom of the year</li>
</ul>

</div>

<div class="jquicksand3">

On the surface, Audrey seems like a calm, controlled person. She’s a single mother who is fiercely devoted to her kid, an efficient accountant, a voice of reason within Gerard’s Pack (having been in the pack for years and years) - but there is an undercurrent of sadness, resentment, and rage within her. She was turned when she was only seventeen, way too young, and the only reason she survived was because Gerard helped her through it and initiated her into the pack. Before her werewolfism, she used to be a bit of a dreamer - she wanted to become an artist, and eventually set up a studio in Paris. However, the werewolfism put a can on those dreams. Back then, without the awakening, she had to largely conceal her lycanthropy from everyone in her life (and even struggled with it for quite some time), and had to make a lot of compromises on the basis of it. But she tried to make up for all the real-world opportunities she lost out on by dedicating herself entirely to the pack. Soon enough she became one of it’s most trusted members - almost Gerard’s right-hand person. Even now, she carries out the more political side of the things: negotiating peace with other supernatural factions, maintaining harmony within the pack and its territories, and so on. At the moment, she’s still grappling with the aftermath of Johnny breaking away and forming his own pack, and trying to keep peace in the volatile post-awakening political climate where the government’s passing anti-werewolf laws and Daniel Heart is steadily gaining power. <p>
Audrey did manage to get an university degree despite struggling with her lycanthropy throughout it, and after she graduated, she even initially worked at a few accounting firms. But she ultimately gravitated back to the pack, and chose to become the official accountant of Knox Garages instead. Though she had a torrid affair with Gerard when they were both young, they eventually broke it off. The fallout brutally broke her heart, but again, her loyalty towards the pack won out over her personal feelings and she was forced to deal with it in a mature manner. She got married and ‘settled down’, and while she could never love her husband back romantically, she nevertheless had a lot of respect and affection for him. He was a good man and a good husband, and always treated her well. They had a suitably content married life, but it all ended abruptly when he was diagnosed with cancer and lost his life to it, nearly three years ago. She was devastated by his passing, of course, but she knew she had to carry on, to be responsible and mature. She threw herself into pack politics again (by then the awakening had happened, and there was a lot to figure out), and concentrated all her emotional energy into raising her daughter. Even now, she’s doing the very same thing. Trying to be a good mother, trying to be responsible werewolf, trying to help Gerard keep the pack together. When she’s not busy crunching numbers in her shabby little office at the garages or being a kickass single mom, she thinks about all the lost opportunities in her life, all the hopes and dreams she let go of because she was turned, and because she was too committed to Gerard’s Pack. There’s a lot of regret here, a lot of cynicism; but she’s almost made her peace with it. She’s extremely practical and world-weary; and yet, she’s always kind, nurturing, generous.<p>
Friends: Though Audrey is kindhearted and amicable, it takes time for Audrey to build deeper, sustainable relationships. She’s put up so many emotional walls as a result of getting hurt so often, it’s not easy to penetrate them all and get her to properly open up. But she’s very close to the members of the pack; and always tries to prioritise their needs and take care of them. Since she’s one of the oldest members, she feels a maternal instinct towards them all. <p>
Enemies: Anyone who’s an enemy of the pack, or is just in general trying to cause trouble for her or her werewolf buddies would get on Audrey’s bad side. <p>
Lovers: When she was younger, Audrey had a pretty serious affair with Gerard, but that obviously didn’t last. However, she hasn’t been able to move on and has always been in love with him - although she’s tried very hard to bury those feelings and no longer act on them over the years. She used to be married, of course, but is currently widowed. She hasn’t been able to get back to dating again, but I’m sure she’ll be open to casual hookups once in awhile - though, not too often because she’s mostly just too busy being a mom. Her final is covered of course, and it’s super obvious who that person is :’P <p>


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<img src="http://i.imgur.com/5XSkcXw.gif" />

<div class="jquicksand2">
<h1>audrey kim</h1>
<h2>36. gerard's pack. accountant at knox garages. <br>f:gerard knox.</br> <a href="http://shine.b1.jcink.com/index.php?showuser=11182">&raquo</a></a></h2>
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Mar 23 2017, 07:42 PM
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audrey s. kim
</div> </div><div style="width: 450px; height: 60px; background-color: #333; position: relative;"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="position: relative; top: 20px; left: -3px;"><td><div class="sara-boxes">

36

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werewolf

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gerard's pack

</div> </td>
<td><div class="sara-boxes">

maggie q

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<div style="width: 450px; background-color: #333; padding: 0px 0px 10px 0px;">
<div style="width: 380px; height: 230px; background-color: #4E4E4E; padding: 10px; font-family: cambria; font-size: 10px; color: #f1f1f1; line-height: 100%; text-align: justify; overflow: auto; ">
Dear Maia,<p>

If you’re reading this, it means you’re either already of age or you’ve shuffled around in my drawers again and have stumbled upon this letter long before you’re supposed to find it. For now, though, I’m hoping you won’t read it until I intend for you to; until you’re old enough to truly understand what I’m about to say.<p>

I see you as you are now, with your bright, curious eyes; only three and already bursting at the seams with so many questions. You ask me about the stars, about the birds, about the big red puppets you watch on the telly. You ask me what certain words mean, you ask me about sounds you hear in the park, you ask me how swings work; but the question you repeat the most, the one I dread answering every single time, is that of your father. You ask me where your daddy is, and I have to hold my breath and count to ten before I begin to tell you. You’re only three and your little brain can hold in so much information, can assimilate and articulate so much. And yet, once is never enough for you when it comes to this question. You ask, and ask, and ask. Tell me about Daddy, please?<p>

Your daddy was a good man, he really was. You would have loved him. He was kind, patient, caring, and he treated me well - far better than I deserved to be treated. Believe me Maia, I tried my best to save him, I truly did. But he fell prey to a disease neither of us saw coming. We tried doctors, healing spells, even considered getting him to turn into a vampire, but nothing bore fruit. Cancer took him before you could even come out of my belly. I cried for weeks after that, tried so hard to drown my sorrows by concentrating on giving birth to you, and then raising and taking care of you. I buried everything deep inside, and perhaps that’s why I’m writing to you. It’s high time I got it all off my chest; even if you won’t read this in years. <p>

I tried to love him back, but I couldn’t. It killed me inside, seeing him try so hard to gain my affection, to get me to reciprocate in the way he wished I would. But your father was perceptive too, much like you. He knew he wasn’t getting anywhere. He knew that my heart was too broken to love again; that perhaps, my heart was still hung up on someone else, someone I’ve tried so hard to shake off but haven’t ever been able to.<p>
The day he died, I felt like I had failed him all over again. I wanted to say, so desperately, it was you, and only you; i belong to you, but it would have been a lie. We both knew that despite everything he’d tried, every way in which he was perfect and beautiful and enchanting, I still couldn’t give myself over to him entirely. I was stuck loving imperfect things. It broke me, betraying your father like that. But he understood, like always. Even in death, he understood that my heart was too shrivelled for love.<p>

You often tell me that I’m too sad. For a three-year old, you’re awfully observant, you know that? Mostly, it’s just fascinating but sometimes, in moments like that, when you so casually hit the nail right on it’s head without even realizing it’s magnitude, you are almost terrifying. I am positive that you’ll grow up to be an indomitable force of nature. You’ll be relentless, but loving; always loving. <p>
To answer yet another one of your questions - yes, you’re right; I am sad. Sad because my life didn’t turn out the way it was meant to be, sad because, despite being surrounded by so many people, I’m always lonely. Sad because the world is changing, and I’m scared I’m still stuck in a limbo, stuck being the same old Audrey, so constant in her loyalty to her pack that she gave up on her own dreams. I don’t want to be sad, Maia. In fact, I want to be the very opposite; if only for you. But it seems to have become a habit, you know? Misery follows me around like a shadow I can’t get rid of, so I’ve made it my own. <p>

I wasn’t always like this, though. On the contrary, if you’d ever seen me in my youth, you wouldn’t even have recognised me. Did I ever tell you I wanted to be an artist? I had big dreams of running away to Paris and setting up my own art studio, amidst the romance and bustle and eccentric energy of ‘The City of Love’. I used to be so...free. So idealistic, so passionate, so...optimistic. I used to laugh, you know that? My laughter was always so hearty, vibrating with unadulterated mirth. God, I’ve forgotten how to laugh like that. I haven’t done it in years. <p>

The real world is cruel, Maia. It crushes you, hardens you, makes you into a cynic. For me, it came with my werewolf bite. I was too young, and it scared me. So, so much. You have to understand, Maia, Gerard was my only hope. He saved me, brought me to his pack - always stood by me, helped me, cared for me. I was young, impressionable, fanciful, and I fell. It was a terrible mistake, one that I will regret forever; one that destroyed all the good things in my life. My art, my optimism, my capacity to love. There is a reason why I give my everything to the pack; it’s the only thing that keeps me grounded. Seeing him, day in and day out - working alongside him, clashing with him, it reminds me of everything I’ve lost. It consumes me; and because it consumes me, it keeps me going. It helps me keep my head straight. <p>

I know what you’re thinking at this point. That I’m far more damaged than you expected, that I have so much baggage but I refuse to shed it. That I’m stupid, probably. But I’ve learnt to accept my destiny, Maia. I’ve learnt to make peace with my lot in life. <p>

But that’s not what I want for you - god, this is why I’m writing this, aren’t I? I want you to do everything I didn’t do, to learn from the mistakes I made, to let nothing come in the way of your dreams. You’re meant for great things; I can already see it in the way you ask your annoying little questions, in the intelligent, inquisitive way you look at the world. Don’t ever make compromises. Don’t ever settle down, or get too complacent. I guess, what I’m saying is - don’t turn out like me. It’s weird for a parent to say this to their kid, I know; but I hope against hope that this is what happens. Don’t let anything consume you the way I did. <p>

All my love, always.
<br>Forever yours, </br>
Mum. <p>

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<div class="alias-box"> leah - central time - 22 </div>

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