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handler: hannah
age: 22
occupation: student
affiliation: n/a
application: http://crookedkind.jcink.net/index.php?showtopic=1082
plotter link: http://crookedkind.jcink.net/index.php?showtopic=1084
gif link: https://i.imgbox.com/LtrXCWzq.gif
lyrics: it all crept up on you, in the night it got you and plagued your mind, it plagues your mind every day that passes, faster than the last did and you'll be old soon, you'll be old do you like the person you've become?
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Joined: 11-August 15
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Last Seen: Mar 18 2018, 12:27 AM
Local Time: Apr 22 2018, 08:27 AM
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jasper martin

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Dec 31 2017, 02:33 AM
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<div class="remedyheadwords"> Cause in your warmth I forget how cold it can be</div>
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<p><div style="text-align:justify;padding:10px;">

Of course, Jasper had the usual family obligations over Christmas. His family were very traditional and certainly preferred a family orientated sort of Christmas. This meant everything from large family gatherings to long dinners, and evenings spent politely declining alcohol and trying to explain that no he hadn't graduated yet, no he didn't know what he was doing once he had, and no he didn't have a girlfriend. He'd eventually managed to SOS at Lola and escape from the house. He was fortunate that they didn't live too far away from each other, and whilst there wasn't much to do around Christmas that didn't immediately spark his anxiety, they'd settled on a walk. <p>
He'd bundled himself up and waited at the gates of Hyde Park, hoping she wouldn't take long to arrive because he didn't want to be approached by someone asking for charity or directions to the tube, and that weirdly tended to happen to him a lot. Fortunately the only person who approached him was Lola, and he couldn't help but be incredibly relieved. <b>"They kept asking if I wanted wine,"</b> Jasper greeted by way of awkward explanation as to why exactly he'd forced her out into the cold over the holiday season, and hoping she really wouldn't mind, he was sure he could make it up to her, after all.

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Oct 14 2017, 10:52 PM
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<div class="remedyheadwords"> Cause in your warmth I forget how cold it can be</div>
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Jasper would admit he'd only been convinced to go to Howl because he'd gotten to dress up as Finn from Star Wars and he felt that this was an alright compromise for sitting in a loud room with drunken people and not being able to drink himself. He'd told Lola he probably shouldn't stay long just in case he found it difficult, but he'd promised to help make it look like they were still dating and he knew Lola's friends were watching and he didn't really want to be the one who ruined it for her. He was also trying to insist to Lola that he was getting better and the school year wasn't stressing him at all, but he wasn't sure whether that was true or not just yet. As predicted Howl was very loud and everyone was very drunk, and he'd been ordering cokes all night, and given Lola his shots because he felt like someone should enjoy them, but he wasn't sure what else he was meant to be doing. <p>
He'd found himself a table, and tried not to sit on his phone the whole time, wanting to look somewhat like he was actually participating when the truth was he was just very nervous and hoping that Lola didn't mind that. He'd never been great at this couple thing, but at least he hoped a crowded bar would be enough to mask that fact, sure it wasn't like he could enact excessive PDA. <b>"Is it working? Do you think they've seen us?"</b> Jasper asked, leaning towards her to talk over the music, aware that he was bad at raising his voice at the best of times and thinking it was a miracle that Lola could ever hear him.

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Aug 3 2017, 01:33 AM
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<div class="remedyheadwords">CHOKING ON THE WATER, DROWNING, WITH NO AIR </div>
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Jasper was trying really hard to get out of the house more, to do things at sociable hours and, you know, generally just get himself together before school started again. Not that he was doing even remotely well, but he supposed that he had wanted to head to somewhere where he could hide in the back of a shop and look at cool stuff and then head home and tell Lola he had definitely done stuff that day so she wouldn't worry about him. He'd told her more than once it wasn't her job to worry about him, but he wasn't sure he ever did anything to convince her he was fine, and he didn't really blame her. He was trying not to think about it too hard, nor about school, or really anything that was going to stress himself out, trying to just enjoy himself as he examined some Lord of the Rings merch he'd never seen before, examining the tiny figurines carefully. <p>
It was only when he turned around that he spotted someone he knew, and blinked for a long time, trying to work out the correct thing to do there. Did he awkwardly pretend he hadn't seen his friend for the sake of his alone time? No, that seemed rude, and he was staring at her, she'd probably notice him fairly quickly. He supposed he would just have to say hello and hope he hadn't made himself look stupid already. He allowed her a weak smile and an awkward wave. <b>"Hey,"</b> He managed to say, thinking that this was not his most riveting opener, but he hoped it was at least better than staring at her. <b>"Uh, how are you?"</b> He tried, hoping that was better and not at all a weird thing to ask someone you hadn't seen for a while because as it turned out you were a less than functioning alcoholic.

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<div class="remedyfootwords">tag: kavya! | outfit
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Apr 20 2017, 06:53 AM
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<div class="remedyheadwords"> Cause in your warmth I forget how cold it can be</div>
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Jasper still wasn’t entirely doing well, he knew it was pretty stupid that he couldn’t get himself together. It was stupid, he knew he should be retaking classes, not wallowing around drinking himself to death, but he felt like it was the only thing he could do. He knew he had Lola and she was helping him, but he didn’t think he was ever going to be better again – he had ruined himself, but more likely, he was never any good to begin with. His room was cleaner than the night when Lola had found him for the first time, and the alcohol had been cleared out but if it wasn’t for her constant presence he would drink and wallow way more than he did. Most nights when she left him alone he still did, and hated himself for it, usually beating himself up for it afterwards, if he made it to the morning without calling Lola sadly and hoping she was awake to help him. He wasn’t meant to be this pathetic he was sure of it, but he felt it, and he knew for a fact he wasn’t getting better. If he was he would be able to actually help Lola, to actually be useful in her campaign to convince Talon she was dating someone worth dating. <p>
She had agreed to come over that evening and he was relieved, but he could feel himself drifting, and his mind wandering towards the corner shop down the road that would sell him a bottle of anything disgusting and enough to stop him thinking. He knew if she wasn’t there he would do it, and he was afraid to let her go when she would eventually want to go to bed. The time neared closer and closer to when she would have to go, and Jasper found himself eyeing the clock and door warily like something bad might pop out of either and force him into something he shouldn’t be doing. He tried to smile at Lola, and pretend everything was fine, but it was easily getting too much for him. <p>
Finally, Jasper looked up at Lola a little sadly, immediately ashamed of himself for what he had to admit to her. <b>”I don’t think I’m going to be okay by myself tonight,”</b> Jasper told her. He didn’t know what he wanted her to do, maybe just to reassure him, or to stay on the phone all night, or anything that was going to stop him making more mistakes. He knew she shouldn’t have to deal with this, but he hadn’t been able to tell anyone else, and even though he desperately needed help he was too afraid to get it.

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<div class="remedyfootwords">tag: wife! | outfit
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Jul 2 2016, 09:47 PM
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<div class="remedyheadwords">CHOKING ON THE WATER, DROWNING, WITH NO AIR </div>
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Jasper had managed to have a long day, which was weird because all his days felt like long days. Still, he was going to graduate soon, he had a lot to clean up before he graduated and all he wanted to do was either have a drink or sleep it off. He kept his head down as he walked back to his car - a very kind graduation present from his parents - and tried his best not to draw any attention to himself. He was sure that even just eye contact with someone would be too much for him to handle, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what would happen if he went over his limit of social interaction beyond a sudden desire to lay face down on the ground and hope that life left him alone.<p>
Finally spotting his car down the end of the street where he had assumed he had parked it, he headed towards it a little bleary-eyed, hoping that he had paid enough for his parking ticket. This was really why he didn't drive that often, but he'd had to move film equipment so he'd had very little choice. Relieved that all he had to do now was get into his car and drive home he rushed forwards, pulling the car door open, shoving his bag into the passenger seat, and leaned his forehead against the steering wheel, not quite paying enough attention to know that something was amiss. It was only when he slowly raised his head, blinking wearily at his surroundings, that he realised this was not his car - come to think of it, had he even gotten out his key to unlock it?

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