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handler: hannah
age: 25
occupation: carer
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gif link: https://i.imgbox.com/uKzRDmOn.gif
lyrics: In dreams I meet you in warm conversation We both wake in lonely beds in different cities And time is taking its sweet time erasing you And you've got your demons, and, darling, they all look like me
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Joined: 18-September 16
Status: (Offline)
Last Seen: Oct 15 2017, 10:02 PM
Local Time: Oct 22 2017, 03:31 PM
120 posts (0.3 per day)
( 0.40% of total forum posts )
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rosalie delacour

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Oct 15 2017, 10:02 PM
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<div class="remedyheadwords">on a wednesday in a café i watched it begin again </div>
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Rosalie knew she needed to stop worrying about Andrew, but it wasn't happening any time soon, and she just couldn't trust him to be okay without her. It was frustrating, she didn't have time to be walking around after him trying to pick up the pieces and put him back together, but she knew it was her responsibility, they had no one else, so she had to be big sister, mom, dad and therapist all in one, and it was stressful. She didn't know if she was doing the right thing half the time, and more than anything she wished their parents were there because they would know what to do more than she did. That week had been no exception to the level of stress Rosalie was under, and she felt like she was constantly one step away from getting a phone call letting her know something terrible had happened, and she truly wasn't sure what to do with that. <p>
She didn't mean to get frustrated with him, she truly had no idea where it was coming from sometimes, and usually she just took some time to herself when she did. She didn't get much chance to that day, she'd already let him know she was heading over, but she'd not heard much back from him and that alone was enough to put her on edge. She glanced at the time as she headed into their flat, glancing around to see what the mess was like, perhaps see if he was even around. <b>"Andrew?"</b> She called out, frowning at little that she didn't see him right away, <b>"You'd better be out of bed."</b> It was perhaps a warning that she wasn't in the mood, but she still knew she had to check on him and then had a million other things to worry about that day.

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<div class="remedyfootwords">tag: andrew! | outfit
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Oct 10 2017, 02:12 AM
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<div class="remedyheadwords">lantern burning, flickered in my mind for only you</div>
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Rosalie was glad to have settled a bit more into living with Alec. Obviously, it was a little strange to live at work quite literally, she was sure she used to joke about it at her old job. On the bright side, she sometimes got to do work in her pyjamas, which she felt was a concept she could absolutely get behind. She'd gone to bed early that night, falling asleep, exhausted as she usually was simply through virtue of overworking herself as usual. She'd known it was early, but she knew Alec would be fine on his own for the evening, he didn't usually appreciate her company anyway, she was perfectly aware of that. She hadn't been asleep very long when she flew out of her sleep, a little confused why she'd woken up, but she suspected the noises from the kitchen had something to do with it. She supposed she could get some water, and check on Alec before she went back to sleep. It wasn't that she worried about him as much any more, but she knew it was her job to be keeping an eye on him.<p>
She wandered out of her room, not bothering to change out of her pyjamas, sure that Alec had seen them before and they weren't that exciting anyway. She half expected Alec to be sat brooding in the living room, instead, the noises from the kitchen continue, and she frowned, pausing for a moment as she reached the door and peered around it. It took her a moment of watching to work out what he was trying to do, but she couldn't help but regard it with a strange amusement. She was pretty sure she'd never seen him trying to do so much, and wondered if he often did this when she told him she was going to bed. <p>
<b>"Do you need a hand?"</b> She asked softly, pulling her hair back off her face and regarding him with mild curiosity. She wasn't entirely sure what he was trying to make, and she generally suspected he wouldn't want her interfering, but she also wasn't sure she could stand there and watch and it not be creepy.

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<div class="remedyfootwords">tag: alec! | outfit
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Jul 12 2017, 01:11 AM
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<div class="remedyheadwords">lantern burning, flickered in my mind for only you</div>
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<p><div style="text-align:justify;padding:10px;">

Rosalie didn’t think she’d see the day where Alec actually agreed to let her take him outside, and yet, after hours and hours of bothering him about it, of trying to persuade him, of persistently trying to irritate him into doing it. She’d finally settled on bribing him and despite her moral obligations, felt it was worth it to get him outside. She knew there was an event going on in Hyde Park that day, and it looked fun and she was determined to take him to it and after dealing with lots of issues that came with Alec travelling anywhere, like finding nearby parking and getting him safely out of the car, and trying to remind him that none of these things were reasons not to go outside full stop. The fresh air would do him good, she decided, in this heatwave it wasn’t helpful to be stuck inside all day, and she thought even getting him as far as Hyde park was enough to make her happier in herself. She helped him along as much as she needed to, well aware that he could control his chair just fine if he wanted to, it was mostly stubbornness she worried about. Getting there was actually remarkably easy, it was all well paved, but Rosalie did worry about taking him on the grass unsure what his chair would be like, but she hoped in the warmth the ground was dry and they wouldn’t find it too difficult.<p>
<b>”Stop making that face,”</b> Rosalie instructed without looking at him, fairly certain he was disapproving of everything they saw and she didn’t think that him deciding he hated it before they even started was helpful to anything. She’d even put on a pretty new dress for this, so she was sure he had to at least give her a chance to prove to him that it wasn’t all bad. She turned and looked at him, stopping short of the wedding itself, thinking they should talk first. <b>”I know you don’t want to be here, but give it a chance? For me?”</b> She tried, hoping that she was imploring to some better nature he had, or at least the fact she had legs on show might be enough to distract him from being moody (she wasn’t hopeful, they shared bathrooms now, after all, Rosalie wasn’t sure it was possible for him to look at her like that now he had seen her skincare routine). <p>
<b>”We can do anything you want, as well,”</b> She added, sure he could choose of the games or strange things to watch and see. She knew there were some parts he couldn’t do, but she wasn’t going to let that upset him. She thought it would be good for him too, to see a happy couple in love, and excited people around him, remind him of what he was shutting himself away from, she didn’t think he had lost his chance for happiness when he had lost his ability to walk, and she wanted to remind him of that.

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<div class="remedyfootwords">tag: husband! | outfit
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Apr 12 2017, 01:20 AM
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<div class="remedyheadwords">lantern burning, flickered in my mind for only you</div>
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Rosalie was holding it together. That was what she was telling herself. She was forcing herself at every moment to keep it together. She just had to concentrate on one task at a time, that was how she had always done it. Bad things happened, but life went on, and she just had to get on with her day. That day now involved looking after Alec where he would let her, cleaning his house, making sure he ate, putting sharp things subtly out of reach etc. And then going back home and doing the same with Andrew. Her thoughts only really revolved around those two, even art school was feeling like a distant dream that she wasn’t sure she was going to return to next year. She was consumed in the worst way by guilt and fear, a never ending panic that if she stopped for even a second she was going to lose one of them, and she already knew it had come close, and both times had devastated her beyond belief. She wasn’t sure she had even truly recovered from either yet, but she hadn’t had a break, or a chance to think about it and process it. She just kept going, every moment focused on the next little task, even when she slept it was out of pure exhaustion, and usually hardly mattered which apartment she was in. More than once she had fallen asleep on Alec’s sofa and gotten up the next day and continued as though nothing was wrong.<p>
It was getting more difficult as time as passing, as she was wearing herself down to the bone. Exhausted always, heartbroken too, she felt like a zombie as she continued with the days tasks, barely talking to Alec, sure he didn’t mind particularly that she was so quiet. She wasn’t sure what it was about that day, maybe her body was just finally telling her to stop, or her brain had finally reached its limit for grief and sadness, but she felt especially breakable. Like a glass bird, fragile and completely unable to go anywhere. She tended to avoid the bathroom if she could for obvious reasons, but she couldn’t stop glancing towards it, like it became addictive to stop holding back how she felt. At least until the first tears finally fell, then she realised she had gone too far. <p>
She knew the worst thing she could do was cry here, at least at home she could shut herself away and hide it, here she knew Alec was nearby and if he saw her would probably think her ridiculous. She wiped her eyes as best she could but it only got worse, small sobs forming and she rushed into the nearest empty room, sitting herself down on the floor where she hoped she wouldn’t be seen, and she just cried. She didn’t know for how long, or whether she was making any noise, she just knew she had to let it all out or there was a chance she would never be okay again. The worst part, perhaps, was she was so busy crying that for the first time in weeks she forgot about both her brother and Alec, at least until the sound of someone else in the room forced her to look up slowly, her face blotchy and red and covered in tears, she realised she had been caught.

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Mar 12 2017, 11:48 PM
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<div class="remedyheadwords">on a wednesday in a café i watched it begin again </div>
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<p><div style="text-align:justify;padding:10px;">

Rosalie had rushed into the hospital for what felt like a horrifying second time lately. After what happened with Alec last month she had been sure it was to do with him when she got a call from the hospital, instead it was the only option that was worse, her little brother. She had feared this from the moment it was clear her brother was drinking himself to death, she knew one day the worst could happen, but she had never thought it would come so soon, or that it would hurt so much. She had pictured this before, finding him in such bad shape she had to take him to the hospital, she always expected alcohol poisoning, not… not this. She knew he was depressed, and she had done what she could to help him, but she was surrounded on all sides by sadness, and she didn’t know how to help his. She hated that she had always known it would have to get to this point, that she couldn’t help him until he was so destroyed that someone else noticed, that someone else got him the help he needed. She felt like a terrible sister for it, that she was relieved deep down this had finally happened. Between timing, between everything that had happened to them, and panic that he might truly have done it, that he might be gone forever, she hadn’t worked out how to feel sane about it. All she knew was that she was worried, and exhausted, and had failed her brother in so many ways.<p>
She had been banished to the waiting room for a while, letting them do tests on him while he woke up a little bit. She had been told to go get some coffee, Rosalie suspected the nurse recognised her – perhaps remembered her from when she had refused to leave Alec’s side until she fell asleep there. She would do the same for Andrew if they would let her, at least until she was assured he was alright. Finally, a smiling nurse promised her she could have some time with him, and that he was awake. She steeled herself for a moment, well aware this would not be an easy talk, but she had to be sure he was okay. <p>
She knocked on the door hesitantly, a cup of coffee for him in her hands. She paused a moment before she entered, holding the coffee cup out like a peace offering. <b>”Hey,”</b> She said softly, letting him take it if he wanted it, but otherwise keeping a distance like she was afraid she might only make it worse. She was so scared to lose him again, but she had no idea how to handle this – she pretended she had the answers to everything, but when her own brother was falling apart she was lost. <b>”How are you feeling?”</b> She tried, after a moments pause where she decided to sit down next to his bed.

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<div class="remedyfootwords">tag: andrew! | outfit
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